We've been trying for a while to get a good bedtime routine in place for Greta. We've tried various permutations and thus far haven't found one that we stick to. We tend to fall back into the same old thing (which is nursing her to sleep when she gets tired). Anyway, I'm wondering:
1. Do you have a bedtime routine (for your child)?
2. If so, what is it?
3. How long does it take?
4. What time do you start the routine?
5. What is your child's bedtime?
6. Do you have a nap routine?
TIA!
FAMILY!
9 years ago
6 Responses:
We did do a bedtime routine of bath, final nursing and then playtime before bed but nothing special other than that. We did bedtime based on naps during the day... seems like when Benjamin was Greta's age, he was doing naps at least twice a day... we had a pretty set schedule as I did the Babywise book that I got from your Mom. He usually went to bed pretty early like 8 o'clock - and he was napping in the morning and afternoon. He may have even had 3 naps a day at Greta's age but he wasn't as mobile as she is...
Since Babywise didn't let you nurse them to sleep, I never did that. There was always playtime after nursing and keeping them awake. And it was like a 4 hour schedule thing.
You just need to do what works best for you and your family. So, that naps suit you... He was in Mother's Morning Out two mornings a week at her age and she tried to do my routine of napping. He'd take a nap in the early afternoon and then one in the early evening because that worked best for us... based on the Babywise criteria... I needed him to go to bed early as I was exhausted at the end of the day but we got up fairly early e.g. 7:00 - so it worked fine...
I guess she's getting to the age when she's supposed to start going to bed awake and able to soothe herself? That's a rough transition - I think we did it early so it wasn't as hard.
Just trust yourself to know your child best and pray about it...
Love,
Aunt Fran
Ours has always been simple. I knew that I did not want there to be any one thing Emma just HAD to have to go to sleep because I didn't want to deal with taking it away later. So we always have simply thrown her in bed, said "night night" and left. 98% of the time this is all it takes. When she's sick sometimes she cries for a while, but most of the time she just plays quietly then goes to sleep. I think there were a few times when she was younger that we'd rock her, but I went to GREAT pains to be sure she didn't need this all the time.
So maybe for your sanity you could try making it simpler rather than more complicated. Try putting pjs on 30 minutes before to get her used to the idea, and maybe read a story or two. Then just put her down with little fanfare, and if you don't make it a big deal, she'll start to realize she doesn't need to either.
As for naps, same deal...just don't stress too much about it or she will too.
bedtime -- Change into jammies around 8 o'clock, wash face/brush teeth (sometimes). Then, one of us lowers the light, sings one song (if she allows us that), and puts her into the crib, covers her with her special, but not too special, blankie, and says goodnight. She loves to go to bed now, and hardly let's us cuddle or sing to her -- she says "ni-ni" and leans toward the crib.
Since she was a few months old, we had put her to bed awake, and she did really great. BUT, then came a rough stage when she had gained mobility again and wasn't content just to lay in the bed awake. As far as my memory serves, this was about 10 mo. I would say that this transition period took about 1 month or maybe a month & a half where we were training her to go sleep happily. We would turn down the lights, cuddle, sing, and pray. Sometimes, I'd read a bible story. Then, I would place her in the crib and head out of the door like lightning. We let her cry, and if it was driving me crazy a particular night, I'd set time goals. For instance, a crying baby can make 30 seconds feel like 5 minutes. So, I'd watch the clock & see that in fact, it only took 10 minutes for her to settle down, which isn't THAT long. If I lost patience or became too anxious, I would attempt to soothe her without getting her out of the crib. Sometimes, her paci had popped out & she just needed help putting it back in. In retrospect, going in after she'd been put down was many times counterproductive. It just extended her time of crying, because she was separated from mom all over again. Oh, nursing usually occurred about an hour before bedtime, sometimes closer than that. She wouldn't fall asleep, but it did add to the bedtime routine.
So, we applied what we felt was a little bit of tough love. It was hard to hear her cry, but we knew that this was really for her best and she wasn't hurting or sick or anything. Thankfully, although she had some killer nights where she cried a LONG time, most of the time, it was 10 minutes or so. And, of course, while you're in the midst of this rough bedtime stuff, you feel that it's going to last forever! I would just look at Josh and think -- how much longer can we do this? But, it didn't last forever. This same thing happened during naptime as well. And, again, thankfully, this wasn't every day, but it was a lot of days.
I'm a fan of nursing babies to sleep myself and I've done that a lot with my babies. It usually works.
Our bedtime routine changes almost constantly so I don't know how much of a "routine" it is. But lately we've been doing this. Change his diaper and make sure he's in comfortable clothes. Swaddle him tightly (he tends to rub his face and disturb himself which keeps him from sleeping) and then I either nurse him to sleep (lying down on the bed next to his co-sleeper) and gently move him into the co-sleeper or if he has nursed recently we hold or rock him till he is asleep and then lay him in the co-sleeper. It works for us (so far, ask me again next week ;).
Oh- and for the other questions!
It only takes as long as it takes to nurse. And holding/rocking him usually only takes about 10 minutes. Bedtime is whenever he seems appropriately tired. Sometimes this is an hour or two before we go to bed and sometimes he goes to bed at the same time as us.
Our girls on the other hand- they go to bed at 7 or 8!
Nap routine- not much of a routine there either. He sleeps when he's tired. I guess it usually happens in the early afternoon. Sometimes I have him sleep in the swing or his chair or in the co-sleeper or even his crib. The routine is the same (swaddle-etc).
Hang in there! Lydia had trouble until she was at least 8 months and I was starting to despair that I would never get a good night's sleep again!
I feel like we tried all kinds of suggestions (those listed here and others) for getting Lydia to sleep. We never found THE thing that worked.Also, we had a small house and I could hear her crying no matter where I was and I absolutely COULD NOT tolerate it! In the end, I nursed her to sleep most nights b/c I was emotionally exhausted after the other techniques weren't working. (I think there were other contributing factors to her problem one of which was my work schedule that caused her to have different schedule/routine every day and including late nights.)
With Lauren, it has been very different. However, several circumstances have changed since Lydia as well. AND the biggest one being - she is a different child! I guess we all know, but can forget, that all children (even from the same family) can respond very differently even to the same situation and circumstances.
I don't nurse Lauren to sleep, although she frequently goes to bed soon after her last nursing (sometime b/t 8-9). She is an extremely active child so I try to calm and soothe her before bed (both and night and before nap) -in a dark room I rock her and give her the paci and hold her tight. As she is getting older, I sometimes just put her in bed and let her tire herself out (usually by crying!). The crying doesn't bother me like it did with Lydia! Sometimes though, I can tell she is hysterical so I go back in and retrieve the lost paci -- I DON'T pick her up -- and I put her back down in the crib (she is usually standing up). I rub or pat her back until she is calm and nearly asleep.
Unfortunately it doesn't seem that there is one magic solution. =) Call me if you want to talk more about this. =)
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